From the recording Dealing With People (2016)
Lyrics
Don't you love a dead-sexy bartender?
The kind that knows that this job won't last forever
It's just a temporary stop
Until we reach that mountaintop in the sky
Please pour me another, bartender
I need to think about a way that I can make life better
That's not to say that life is bad
And then she asks me if I've had too many to drive
And she keeps me drinking all night
And feeling all right
She insists on feeding me when I start to sway
She keeps the regulars on ice
And if somebody's not nice
She tells me subtly to shoo them away
She'll pay every single tab for me
And I won't even have to leave gratuity
I'll tip her just by being me
All the goofballs at the tables
They're missing out
Pretending to enjoy their lives
I hear a man wonder if he's able
To get away with cheating on his wife
And I'm so mad that I could scream
Because I would never dream of hurting you
And she keeps me drinking all night
And feeling all right
She insists on feeding me when I start to sway
She keeps the regulars on ice
And if somebody's not nice
She tells me subtly to shoo them away
She'll pay every single tab for me
And I won't even have to leave gratuity
I'll tip her just by being me
And I've been coming here for so long
You're probably thinking this is so wrong
You deserve the lion's share of real love
And you deserve a song
Don't you love a dead-sexy bartender
When she keeps you drinking all night
And feeling all right
She insists on feeding you when you start to sway
She keeps the regulars on ice
And if somebody's not nice
She tells me subtly to shoo them away
She pays every single tab for me
And I never have to leave gratuity
So if you're wondering how I get my booze for free
I tip her just by being me
By being me